My Postgraduate Academic Journey Thus Far

I took two Masters and two diplomas, but I dropped out from all four soon after matriculation.

I'm no longer able to study. I have a good honours degree i.e. 2nd upper from NTU Computer Engineering, that was when I was younger and was good at mugging for examinations. However, when I matriculated in a Masters in Technology with NUS Institute of Systems Science, I found myself totally lost when attending coursework classes. The lecturer would talk and talk, yet I just nod and nod i.e. fell asleep. I also could not cope with the project work, I couldn't understand what my India Indian classmate was talking and it was really difficult juggling part-time studies with trying to stay on in a full-time job. Eventually I fell out without graduating.

I then took a Diploma with Republic Polytechnic in Digital Marketing. Classes were conducted online over Zoom/MS Teams. The assignments were quite a mouthful, to me as far as I was concerned, the lecturers tried their best, and so did I, but after completing one semester I felt that I have had enough. I resigned and dropped out.

As I had difficulty staying on in a fixed job thereafter, I thought I'd do a Masters in Divinity and attempt a career change to spirituality. I hence enrolled in the coursework provided by a Buddha Dharma University and began attending online classes. I applied for financial aid because I was not well to do and did not have a fixed income, and I started studying under the guidance of religious teachers. I felt a lot at home when doing the Divinity program, in fact it felt like what I wanted to do for a longer term, but once again I did not complete the program, dropping out after less than one year in the coursework. I cannot remember why I dropped out, but what I do remember was that there was a schism in the tertiary school community after the Chancellor died suddenly. There was a lot of power struggle, which is weird considering it was a religious institution, and the school split into two factions. I wanted nothing to do with the infighting, so I remember this was one reason why I quit.

To cap things off and become a complete flop, I again matriculated with Republic Polytechnic doing a specialist diploma in Gerontology (the course name is too long but it's basically about eldercare). I attended the coursework in person and did my best to understand what the lecturers were teaching, but I just wasn't interested in the content and dropped out once again.

So in summary, I tried my best to take on postgraduate studies, but I couldn't cope so eventually I ended up graduating from none of them. It's not that Masters are useless, it's just that I couldn't cope, and I also felt that it doesn't nip the problem in the bud because my real problem was that my Computer Engineering degree was becoming irrelevant and there was no clear pathway for me to evolve my career. I have a lot of other friends from my cohort who did Masters in all kinds of other sectors such as Defence, Banking and Finance, and they are doing very well. But for me, I was neither here nor there, in Singlish we say "Dong Dong Hee". My father asked me to join him as an undertaker, I was like, I studied so hard to become an honours computing graduate, and end up I become a funeral director??? I sucked thumb.

Eventually I cast aside my dilemmas and became understudying my dad as an undertaker. I'm not ready to go full time, but at least it does keep me occupied without having to study too much coursework material, it's a lot of heart work, not so much of academic work required.